Characteristics and behaviors
The infantilist community is described by one practitioner as made up of two main types - adult babies (adults who role play infants) and sissy babies (who role play as infants of the opposite gender). There are also individuals who wear diapers but do not act as infants, either diaper lovers who eroticize diaper wearing, or sadomasochists who use diapers as a way of enforcing dominance and submission. Though the categories are discrete, in practice the behaviors found in each group often overlap. Adult babies roleplaying as a baby or small child for erotic stimulation is considered the signature expression of paraphilic infantilism. This may involve the use of adult-sized diapers and baby clothes or toys and furniture such as a crib to lend reality to the infantilist fantasy, crawling on the floor, and some individuals may urinate or defecate in their diapers. If a partner is willing, adult babies may engage in parent-baby roleplay including being bathed, powdered and changed into diapers by one's partner, before being put to bed with a baby bottle. Some may also simulate lactation with a willing partner. Thereafter the adult baby may be comforted and pampered by their partner in the role of the parent and their diapers might be changed if wet or dirty. For some infantilists, the ritual might instead involve being scolded, spanked or chastised for having wet or dirtied their diapers. In this latter instance the mode of arousal is masochistic. Others may only desire gentle or nurturing treatment, based on the desire to be cared for or to "surrender the responsibilities of adult life". Some infantilists may involve masturbation and ejaculation while others may choose not to engage in sex since it is not babylike. The erotic pleasure derived from either of these forms of infantilism may replace the need for sexual intercourse in reaching orgasm.
A survey in a doctoral dissertation cited by others found that infantilists are commonly male, are on average thirty-eight years of age, in steady employment, normally have an undergraduate level of education or higher and are usually married or in a stable relationship. However, since there are so few studies of infantilists and so few women who self-identify as infantilists, it is not clear how accurate this survey was.
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The ABDL community is a unique community in a lot of ways. Both good and bad. Adult babies and diaper lovers can bask in the fact that no other fetish/lifestyle is similar to it in mindset or object. There is a large complexity to the ABDL mindset that goes beyond any sort of sexual manner that most other lifestyles entrench themselves in. Unfortunately, this complexity not only attracts “bad” people but also it breeds, in a sense, everything from insecurity to obsession in many people.
I find it more risky to go out into public *without* a diaper than consider my wearing diapers as something that spices up my evening out. My diaper-less ventures out in public tend to turn sour immediately after I find that I've leaked onto my pants (or whatever I was sitting on) and must hide my backside from others (or remain seated in my chair) until I see an opportunity to leave quickly before anyone notices any staining or smells. I can recall a few such instances when I had to make a hasty departure without much more than a rushed goodbye to our host/hostess.
The adult baby community in my opinion is comprised of some extremely intelligent people. I have talked with people that are physicians, lawyers, and yes even government officials. As a whole I think our community is extremely bright which is a positive and a negative thing in my eyes. Because a lot of times with intelligence comes caution and with caution comes speculation and with speculation comes well…insanity and paranoia. That is not to say that our community isn’t also filled with people that probably don’t know how to count to 10…no offense to those people…but it is the sad truth. But, I think it speaks volumes to our community that some of those most intelligent people in the world engage in this activity. This isn’t some rogue “fetish” in my opinion and as long as we are on my opinion – I would say that adult baby and diaper lovers are one of the BIGGEST communities in the world whether those people that share that interest want to admit it or not. There are those that engage in the community which number in the hundreds of thousands around the world if not reaching into the millions with those that are not as open and communicative about it. This community is larger than most people think. I am amazed sometimes after scrolling through some of the big boards the intelligence that does radiate through in the adult diaper community – you can hear it in the way people type and articulate there statements. Usually, which is followed up with a lot of times one of the most idiotic of statements to balance it out. But, to those out there that are educated and recognize the civil and intelligent people within the community – you do not go unnoticed. I surely appreciate much of the diaper community that tries to act civilized in their conversations.
Characteristics and behaviors